2005: Driving more
than ever. Surprisingly arse-kicking car stereo in the 94 Grand
Am. Ten things that sound good on cassette. That’s right,
cassette. In the order I thought of them:
1 Glory/Days - Television. First two songs on the second, much-maligned
Adventure lp, from about 1978. Bought this back in the day, just
getting back into it now. So this is where I learned to play jangly
guitar! Nice, it sounds just like me... To my knowledge, Television
is the only punk era band which credits its guitar solos. Solos!
Very cool. Television. Cool name. Rumoured to have lately reformed
as Transmission Gramps.
2 Son of a Thief - John Pantry. Little known but much-revered 60's
"jobbing songwriter" - Pantry had singles (or the more
professorial "sides") under like six different names,
finally compiled in 1999 by Tenth Planet as "The Upside Down
World of John Pantry" - for my money, this is even cooler -
his self titled 1972 Phillips UK solo lp, which also features a
stellar version of "Family of Man", which first came to
my attention as performed by Shawn Cassidy as Joe Hardy of the Hardy
Boys. "Son of a Thief" features a nifty guitar figure
that I worked on and can now play in over two keys, and the enthusiastically
sung tagline "Dad, Dad, why you so bad?" makes it my kids’
favourite.
3 Over - Michael Knott. Uh........................ yes. Everything
I hate, and not in the good way. Not like "I hate sushi"
or "I hate Fear Factor". Very moving. Can’t really
talk about it. Sorry. "Send Jennie on over" it goes; cripes,
what if it was "Send Elly on over"? My blood runs cold,
no kidding. Next.
4 Matthew’s Blues - John Fischer. Ah, that’s better.
Mild-mannered folky strummin’ campfire type enters recording
studio with rock hard funkmasters and tight session cats...... how’s
that? Must’ve been some big money in that so-called Discovery
Art Guild. You can just imagine poor John Fischer struggling to
keep up with Michael Omartian, David Kemper, Dean Parks, you know,
those guys... Fischer tends to just hold a phrase if a fill doesn’t
land on "one" - cf. "And wait to die... American
Pie..............." (Where’s the upbeat, he’s thinking!!),
over ultra-confusing 17/4 time or something, what’s that drummer
doing??? "Whiskey and rye....." (He’s panicking
now!!) No, I’m being mean. Almost any song on this album could’ve
been on this list. Or any list. Despite what eBay prices would lead
you to believe, this lp ("Still Life" from 1974) kicks
the arse of those two on FEL from ‘69 & ‘70. Save
yerself $120 and pass on "The Cold Cathedral" and go grab
this at MCC. "Matthew’s Blues gonna show the news to
you"... throwin’ it down New Testament stylee!!!
5 Natural’s Not in It - Gang of Four. "The problem,
of ah-leisure, what to do, for puh-leasure"... I can’t
believe I took this pinko post punk seriously when I was a kid!!
I love that part where the instruments drop out one by one and then
its just the guitar (duh, duh, duh, duh-n-duh, duh), you know that
part, and then the singer comes in, and he’s all "arghhh,
arghhh, arghhh," and then the drums come back and they’re
like "boom! bah, bah, ahhh, BAH!" and then it’s
just like so awesome... spells heavy rock to me, for sure, I remarked
to my wife one morning listening to this (in the car, natch!) that
exposure to Gang of Four in my formative years kept me from liking
metal, ever. Would’ve been too wimpy. And yes, I’m fully
aware the "Four" (as those of us "in the know"
call ‘em...) reformed and played in Vancouver this year; I
didn’t go, did you?
6 Model of Stupidity - The Subhumans. You heard me. The Subhumans,
from Vancouver BC!!! I was never into this band when I coulda shoulda
woulda been - I don’t know why not, this is great!! Cool guitar,
spot-on production, hilarious so-dumb-they-must-be-intentional lyrics,
and whatever happened to that great drummer!! "Grab a brain,
you give me a pain you know, why don’t you grab a brain, a
slug’s got more brains than you"!! Hmm, ANY slug, one
wonders? You cannot argue with Wimpy Roy!! I picked this song because
I like the guitar solo. Solos! Again! And yes, I’m fully aware
the "Subs" (as those of us "in the know" call
‘em...) reformed and recorded in Vancouver this year; I didn’t
download it, did you?
7 Queen of the Cesspool - Love Tractor. Finally, something actually
released in 2005! I always suspected Michael Richmond was a bit
tetched, and now I know for sure. As my grandpappy used to say,
it takes a great amount of self actualization to stand up in the
indie rock subculture and sing in clear, measured tones: "I
am a woman, I have a plan, I want to be powerful, like a powerful
man..." Yep, just like my grandpappy used to say. I think I
read somewhere the "Queen" is Madonna (yeah, pretty obvious...),
and the "Cesspool" is the music industry, and yeah, I
pretty much hate those things too... hang on,.........am I being
too (wait for it...) curmudgeonly?! Truth be told, I like the song
"Georgia Rain" better, but I couldn’t think of anything
funny to say about it.
8 -that song on the new Joel Plaskett cd that mentions Kelowna
- really, I could’ve and should’ve written it... "I
played a show in Kelowna last year, said pick it up Joel, we’re
dying in here, picture one hand clapping then picture half that
sound, there’s a reason that I hate that town"... I think
I’ve played that same place. Several times. Ah, Kelowna, where
the opposing values of love and hate meet, and merge.....ah, who
cares!
9- Sideways Drag - Soul Junk. Seriously: I heart Christian rock.
I’m not kidding.
And a two-way tie for last:
10- Ten. The hardest choice. Ah, eff it, I’m going with "Rockin
the Suburbs" from that live Ben Folds cd that Glenn gave me...
and speaking of effin’, this version features the most judicious
and yes, the most copious use of the eff word (what all us music-biz
insiders call the "FPM’s"); probably about 4000
instances per minute. "Y’all don’t know what it’s
like, being male, middle class and white...", take that, Linkin
Park!
10- Ten. The hardest choice. Ah, eff it, I’m going with "Woody"
(from that 77's live album that was all mono, what was it called
again?) - as Mike Roe says "A song Mark and I worked really
hard on"
- Jonathan Theophilus Brotherton
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